I don't really want to swim with you.

I am listening to the most ridiculous conversation between my office-mate and one of his residents. This resident has a problem being appropriate with women. He can’t look at anything but breasts if he’s talking to a woman and he always gets this shit-eating grin across his face while he’s doing it. He’s really old and it’s really gross and awkward. He also breathes heavily, especially on the exhale for some reason. I am trying not to pay any attention to him which is why I’ve buried my face in my computer for the time being. Literally, he’s staring at my chest right now from across the room and I feel incredibly weird. Sadly, though, he has zero control over this. He just said that he wishes he didn’t objectify women and that he could get along better with them AS he continues to stare me down. It’s interesting that we can feel people’s eyes so well. When someone is staring at you, you just know. 

Side note: I’m fascinated by all of the different people in the world. Making eye contact with total strangers ranks pretty high on the list of things I enjoy doing during my morning commute. Because some people just know how to make eye contact, ya know? This morning was all rainy and the train to Evanston was way more crowded than usual. I woke up late as always, cannon balled into the shower, brushed my teeth, and flew out the door with soaking wet hair. I always try to stand in the front of the train, in the private little nook so I don’t have to sit next to anyone that I don’t want to because it creeps me out. So, in my mind, I’m the only one on the train. “I’m Sorry I Sang On Your Hands That Have Been In The Grave” comes on and sounds perfect even in my shitty little ear buds that I greatly despise. I’m having the most intense love affair with Sunset Rubdown lately . I’ve always liked them but suddenly these sounds and these lyrics define everything that is my life. It’s all I can do. I’ve done similar things with other bands, yeah. This just seems more important for some reason. “I don’t really want to swim with you” is a small line of words and none of those words individually hold any momentum but the way he puts them in that order and the way his voice aches when he sings them makes it pretty hard for me to stand. They are coming to Chicago again soon. Yes!! Thank you, life.