Sometimes nasty happens.

So, today got un-slow. I have a new resident, we’ll call her Cathy. Cathy is 69 years old and she is diagnosed with Bipolar D/O although her family seems to think she's schizophrenic. During the usual new resident tour/info-session, Cathy expressed her desire to go for a walk so that she could see where the lake, Starbucks, and Jewel-Osco are located. I like walks so I agreed to go with her because new residents are restricted from leaving the building without a staff member for the first 48 hours after arrival until we deem them stable enough to venture into the city on their own. Anyway- Cathy and I take off on our little adventure. The lake is about a 10 minute walk from our facility and half way there Cathy tells me that she has Crones disease and she has to use the bathroom. We are surrounded by nothing but residential homes. She tells me that she thinks she can hold it until Starbucks so we decide to forget the lake and b-line to Starbucks so that she can go. Crones disease apparently causes incontinence but Cathy told me she doesn’t have accidents, it’s just that when she has to go, SHE HAS TO GO. So we make it another 100 feet or so and she looks at me with a face that I knew meant, “Well, I’m going to shit myself now.”, but instead of going in her pants, Cathy slides behind the nearest dumpster, whips off her pants, has explosive diarrhea for at least a minute, takes her underwear off to wipe with, and then refuses to throw them away. So now, there I am, in utter disbelief because I just met this woman 20 minutes ago and this is some nursing shit that I’ve got myself into. I do my best to make her comfortable though because who likes blowing ass in front of strangers? Not me. So we walk to Starbucks where she gets a bag for her fecal undies, washes her hands, gets a grande coffee with extra cream, and then back to the facility we went. 

Wow.