Erotically

“I have lust for knowledge. It’s the only thing I lust for.” “Do you like erotica?” “What authors did you read in high school?” “Can I read you some of my erotic poetry?” “What’s your favorite Metallica album?” -Things Mark says on an almost daily basis.

Mark is paranoid schizophrenic. He was abused sexually his entire life by pretty much every person he was told to trust. His freaking mother sexually abused him and that shit is rare. His parents were druggies and rumored to also suffer from schizophrenia. Mark was finally taken from them and put into a series of foster homes; all sexually destroyed him. Think about this: when you’re born there are two, sometimes one, but usually two people that you can trust. If your parents abuse you then how are you supposed to trust any one else in the world? Then to have judges keep putting you in homes that are “safe” only to have more and more of what little dignity you had taken away from you. Mark finally ended up in the custody of his Aunt and Uncle who adopted him when he was about 8 years old. Mark didn’t start speaking until he was 12 years old; I assume because no one had ever been willing to listen to him. Mark now resides at the facility I work in and has lived here for 10 years; he is 33 years old. He recently fathered a child. The woman was a resident here and was discharged once she became pregnant because our facility isn’t staffed for that level of care. Paternity tests confirmed that Mark is the father. Mark also has sexual relationships with men around the facility and his Aunt once caught him fucking their dog. Mark has no idea if he is straight or gay but he also doesn’t realize that he should. He doesn’t understand that sex with a dog is wrong. He writes “erotic poetry” by making up his own words and writing them as big as he can on single sheets of paper and when he reads his poetry to you he throws each piece of paper once he’s read the word. His speech fluency is stunted although he’s incredibly intelligent. When you ask him a question you can visibly see him compute it. He’s well read and he’s one of those people who knows something about everything. He’s got really odd facial hair. If you can imagine this: it’s a mustache that is pin straight and sticks out over his top lip like an awning, a long straggly flavor savor, and a very fuzzy chinstrap. He has his good days and bad days. Good days involve greetings such as, “Hi Shea, it’s nice to see your beautiful face today”, and conversations about music and books. Bad days involve the blankest of stares; as if there is literally nothing behind his eyes. If you ask him a question he might answer you but it probably won’t make sense. He writes most of his “erotica” on bad days and reads it to me on good days. Mark is an amazing example of how important it is to have control over your sexuality. Sex is the one thing that is 100% our own. Each person is supposed to have complete control over when, where, and with whom they have sex. Mark has never had that luxury. People at the facility who are higher functioning often take advantage of him because they know he won’t put up a fight. Did you still want to complain about your day?