o__O

The way I am confused is not to be confused with being confused because I'm too dumb to catch on. I'm confused about what you are doing with your life and why I don't have any desire to do those things. I see people with their lives so sorted out and can't help but think to myself, "um, hey self, did you miss some chapter in your life where they taught you how to be an actual adult? because what the fudge are you doing?" Like, the things that motivate me are not success and money. Money stresses me out and stuff but that's because I get hounded all day every day by bill collectors. I really do not care/could not give less of a shit about it. Take it all, man. None of it's mine anyway. Saving money is boring unless it's for a specific cause such as buying a vehicle or going on vacation or helping your friends/family through something.

There's a side of me that has absolutely no idea why anyone cares about anything. People do things like open savings accounts and put money in them but why? I know why. What I don't know is why I don't have the same attitude. I can never sit still long enough to "plan a life" or "have a savings account" or what have you. In my mind I feel as though my time here is limited (I'm 24) and so why should I save save save when I can experience everything? If my future isn't guaranteed then why am I going to sacrifice things that I want to be doing right now so that maybe I have a few extra bucks when I'm 65? If I live to be 65 then I'll figure all that out then. I'm fine with just "getting by" as long as I'm surrounded by the people I love and as long as we keep laughing and holding on to each other then what else could possibly matter?

What I never want to ask myself is, "why didn't you do that?"